back up blog

I had my first proper day off in two months yesterday. It was pretty freaking awesome. Saturday was an absolute cow, with a 5 a.m. start, three trains and a bus to the airport; a bus from the airport to the plane; a two hour delay on the runway; and then another bus, the tube, and a half hour walk WITH ALL MY LUGGAGE to my home for the next two weeks. So obviously I wanted to blow off some steam after I got over the worst mood in the history of my life. I went to Camden with friends. Friends I need to tell you alllll about. But first, I'll tell you this. I got my nose pierced. I just sort of felt like it. And to be honest, I spent April 2007 walking around Bangalore, India with a bindi stuck my nose trying out how it felt and STILL the desire to have metal in my nose has not ceased. So I did it, because I just sort of thought well. Why not? And I happen to think it looks quite pretty. And then of course I wanted to tell The Parents , because obviously we have such an open and hones...

Italians aren't known for being the outgoing sort. One of the best parts of the job is making them uncomfortable. Every morning we gather the kids at camp up- be it 156 of 'em or just 30- and stand them in a circle. And for thirty minutes we sing songs and do games and YUP. The awkward turtle was MADE for them. They hate it. On the first morning of each camp I tend to chose a victim. Normally an older kid, who doesn't want to be there, and who stands playing on his shitty Italian phone whilst wishing he had something made by Apple. And when we tutors each take turns to stand in the middle of the circle to lead an activity he just smirks at his friends and crosses his arms. Dude. Don't even go there with me. I will CUT you. This is the guy I choose. As I sing my song and shake my groove-thang, you'd better believe that it is HIS face I'm gonna get all up in. HE is the one I call out, make stand in the middle and do it all with us. Because you KNOW that his mama ...

Let's take this back a few steps. So yeah. I'm in Italy. And I'm teaching English as a Foreign Language in a touring teaching job, same as last summer. Only this year, I've got a bit more responsibility. You can stop laughing now. In between teaching my own camps of kids English, I've also been helping train other tutors to teach, on the Italian Riviera. And then getting drunk with said trainees every night. On the Italian Riviera. Two things: One. WHAT CODE OF CONDUCT? Two. ON THE ITALIAN RIVIERA. The amazing ITALIAN RIVIERA team were responsible for many an out-of-character in-character behaviour, and it was heartbreaking to say goodbye to them after a month of working together. And by working I mean earning money by acting like tits. Me, Nicky, Rom, Kellan, Eric, Kristina, Ben, Mark, Vinnie. This is the only photo I have of us whereby we aren't all in those sodding red tee shirts WE WEAR EVERY OTHER DAY OF OUR LIVES. Between us we have met over 400 new Engli...

I worked a residential summer camp last week. Uh-huh. I learnt some stuff. Number one? THERE IS NOT ENOUGH MONEY IN THE WORLD TO HAVE ME LIVE WITH KIDS THAT AREN'T MY OWN. There was like zero time to watch True Blood.

It's been a while. I know. I feel like an abusive husband- smothering Life in the Day of Me with love, affection and time, and then snatching it away without reason or explanation so that it remains in fear and anxious expectation of when things might return to normal again. It's kind of a power trip, but incidentally not one I enjoy. Much. Things have been busy. I helped run an English camp that was the biggest in the 27 year history of the company- it was less teaching and more crowd control. Putting together a production of the Wizard of Oz in four days to show the mamas and pappis? ABSOLUTE MADNESS. I was on crack when we decided that was a good idea. However. I did find time to smother Italian children in Nutella and film it, though. It was as much fun as it looks. I might love my job. 

Hmmm, what shall I wear today?