Number Two
I wanted a record, somewhere, that this is what I wrote the afternoon before my second book came out, and that I stood on a chair to read to a room full of people I love. A first book party felt huge. This second one almost more so. * (FYI writing this speech felt like writing my Oscar acceptance speech, except that I knew I’d won.) (Prepare yourselves for some words about my ~feelings~.) This time last year, I was sad. I felt like the saddest girl in the world, actually. Now I know just how common depression is, but last March - when I finally got diagnosed with an illness I reckon I’d had probably six months before that - I was the most isolated, and empty, and lifeless I have ever been. I didn’t want to die. But. I sort of... couldn’t see the point in living. The lesson of my life is letting myself be loved. And being sad – having depression and anxiety – was the ultimate lesson in what it is to accept love. I wouldn’t survive, I knew, if I didn’t let myself be loved. When I was in