Quote, End Quote






Me: I've never defrosted a freezer before, you see.



Friend's Mum: Well yes. I can see that.



And I thought I was doing a grand job of such a grown-up task.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Your story is not ready for you to worry about yet

Image
I teach creative writing, and often what happens is that my students repeat my words back to me and I don't understand that it was me who said them first and it's a headfuck. I love teaching. I love communicating knowledge and I love using my skill with words to package information in a way that lands with the other person. I sort of took it upon myself, at the end of last year, to help one of the girls I used to nanny with her 11+ because I could so clearly identify where her boldest missteps were and part of me thought  maybe I am interfering too much  and then her mother cancelled her tutor and asked me to come over instead and you know what? She aced the exam and I know I played a part in that. After, when she called me to tell me how good she felt about what she'd done, I cried. She's working on a novel and she FaceTimed me on Easter Sunday from a walk on the Devon coast to show me some goat poo. That child reminds me to be love. Some people have comme...
Read more

That time I was naked in a field and posted the photos on the Internet (NSFW, obvs)

Image
On Sunday afternoon I wondered what, exactly, the repercussions of public nudity might be. I stood in a field of yellow rape seed , bared shoulders shrouded by a floor-length kimono that was a gift from my father to Mama Janie about twenty years ago, after a business trip to Japan. He was always going to Japan on business, my dad. I was *almost* ready to drop it -- but, I think you can get arrested for public indecency, can’t you? I wondered what I would do if I happened across an unclothed twenty-seven year old in the bushes. I don’t know if I’d laugh, or cry. I loosened the fabric around my shoulders and listened to the voice behind the camera. ‘Okay then,’ she said. ‘And now let it fall a little to reveal your sides. Yup – just like that. Perfect. And a little more…?’ I shuddered against the cold and let the gown disappear towards the soil. And just like that I was naked in the Cambridge countryside, nothing but a sultry gaze and an icy breeze adorning my frame. Project #strongandse...
Read more

Financing the Hard Stuff.

Image
Goosebumps. I have goosebumps because of magic. What kind of magic, you ask? Well I’ll tell you. CLASSICAL MUSIC. I know. It surprised me too. Recently a student asked to take me to a classical concert as a sort   goodbye! You are awesome! I’m so sad you’re leaving!   gift. RELATED: This student had actually only ever had me as her teacher twice in the entire time I’ve been at this job. When she had a mid-course appraisal with my boss to talk about the ongoing successes and problems, if any, with her course, she said to my boss   LAURA. I WANT HER AS A TEACHER AGAIN .   When my boss asked why she basically said   BECAUSE SHE’S BALLIN’. THAT’S WHY. DISCLAIMER: Except Luisa is actually Italian and in her 50’s, so in reality as opposed to in my imagination, she probably said an approximation thereof. But still. The sentiment is the same. Anyway, when somebody asks you to the oldest orchestra in Rome , YOU SAY YES. So off I went in my checked shirt and bow-tied scar...
Read more