The Film Trailer Editor


I saw you, and you looked happy. 




She wanted you in a way I never could. She nuzzled into your neck, lips-to-skin not enough so pressing her cheek to yours, her arm to your body, the length of her leg to the length of you. 




When I had done that, I didn't mean it.  





I tried. 





I wanted to. 





I wanted the mis-matched pieces to fit, because I wanted to be part of a two. I don't now. But back then, I did.





I wish I had been kinder about explaining that it wasn't you. That is was the maths of it. The equation of our parts. I wish I'd been kinder in general. Because, that's just it: you are kind and gentle and sensitive and I treated you as "not enough", somehow, because you weren't what I needed in those moments, what I'd imagined, and I knew that if I came over to say hi you'd continue to be kind and gentle and sensitive and that, truth told, I don't deserve that. 

















Not from you.





Not when she looked so happy, too.











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