Pickle, the family rabbit, has died. I found out because Mama emailed me about it. We're going to bury him in the garden tonight, next to Eric, she said. ERIC DIED TOO? I replied. Eric is my auntie's rabbit. She lives across the road from Mama and they used to have rabbit play-dates. Eric died last month, I was told. And then the gravity of Mama's words hit me. They were going to bury my beautiful little lion-haired baby in the ground with Verbose Auntie's overweight, smelly, and not to mention AMOROUS beast of a pet. They were going to be together for all eternity. Mama , I implored back, those rabbits cannot spend the rest of forever together.... Eric was a rapist. And it's true. We'd all been in the garden when, as Verbose Auntie put it, Eric's lipstick came out of the tube. Poor Pickle didn't stand a chance. There was rabbit-on-rabbit penetration, and we all sat by and watched it happen on that sunny afternoon. Hell. We might even have enjoyed it. G...
OhMyGod Laura, Your blog is so funny. x
ReplyDeleteOh my god Laura that is so funny already! :)
ReplyDeleteCal- Ohmygod.
ReplyDeleteSteve- You can't use an exclamation point! What would the Americans say?
OMG OMG OMG Laura, you're right, OMG you are so funny OMG AWESOME
ReplyDeleteHave you seen the Scrubs episode where JD actually dumps a girl (Mandy Moore) because she keeps saying "that's so funny" instead of laughing?
ReplyDeleteWeird that, I agree. But, I'm Canadian so I can't directly relate. Actually Canadians cannot directly relate to a great deal, much to my personal mortification.
ReplyDeletemrwriteon
ReplyDeletethat is so very funny.....really.
dad
Was the person you were talking to an internet addict?
ReplyDeleteBecause occasionally I find myself saying "lol" instead of actually laughing. And I blame the internet for that...
Steve- much better.
ReplyDeleteKirsty- no, but that seems like a wise choice.
Ian- but i love you Canadians!
P- you should be shot. Do you know that? Shot.
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Ya know, this is what I love about you being in America: you mock them for all the ridiculous things they actually do! I love your suggestion too. I wonder if I could pull off a botoxed frog....
ReplyDeleteIt isn't just an American thing. Here it is cool...my son does it and he's old enough to know better-I've given up telling him jokes.
ReplyDeleteHave a nice day...aaaagheeeegoodgrief!
Rachel- I mock them because I love them. I want to live here forever.
ReplyDeleteMoannie- Smack your son upside the head for such ridiculous reactions to your jokes. Do it for me, and for America.
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I can't read your blog anymore. It is giving me a complex.
ReplyDeleteJen R. NO WAIT! COME BACK! I love you guys!
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