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My baby brother Jack has just moved to LONDON! to forge out a career for himself in television. It has to be written as LONDON! because for anybody who has to declare that they were born in Derby on their passport application, LONDON! is like a diabetic that dreams of chocolate factories and isn't even bothered about where Willy has put his Wonka.

i.e. it's a really big deal, even if the reality doesn't quite live up to the dream. Too much chocolate does indeed make you nauseous.



Jack Skyped Mama today, whilst I happened to be around.



"I've got a job on Friday," he said, all excited for his first LONDON! job.

"As a runner on a music video being filmed in East Sussex."



"That's great news!" exclaimed Mama. "Well done! Brilliant!" she said.



And then we carried on discussing LONDON! and how the streets really are paved with gold.



As my brother was ringing off, Mum said to him, "So have they told you what to wear on Friday then?"



Jack stared at her through the webcam. "What to wear?"



"Yeah. For your run."



"Mum, do you know what I'm doing on Friday?" asked Jack.



"Yes, don't talk to me like I'm an idiot. You're running on a beach in a music video, like Brideshead Revisited. You never know where it might take you- somebody might see how handsome you are and ask you to run in their video!"



And that is the best reason I can think of to get out of Derby.